Recently, I have found myself unsure whether the job I am currently getting paid for is the job I should be getting paid for. There have always been a lot of areas of the field that interest me - to some extent I consider it a strength to not only find one specific area of the finance world interesting enough to learn more (and to learn beyond the finance world). With this, though, comes a constant questioning of myself whether the ‘current’ thing is the right thing. Especially (unsurprisingly) when the current thing is currently quite dull. There is a lot to learn, but there is not enough to do. Doing is what makes my brain feel happy at the end of the day. Talking to a good friend tonight, I tried to explain how, for the last months, my brain has not really felt tuckered out at the end of a work day, because there has not been enough to keep it engaged throughout. So naturally when opportunities come to consider a change, I am tempted. As a gut feel person, temptation comes very easily to me — the grass is always greener… My instinct, trying to protect myself from rash decisions, is to try and resist the temptation, but I have recently also been questioning the way I have constructed my career path — for the most part playing things safe and trying to just get ahead slowly and step by step, taking no risks in order to avoid any setbacks. Yet without risks there is no reward, so how can I expect to achieve the goals I have set for myself when I am unwilling to take chances. The idea of taking time out from work to just relax has struck me as odd, because getting the same or a better job after a timeout is far from guaranteed. Yet why not switch if the switch could be seamless? I feel somewhat stuck in this loop: Do I really want the change or am I just bored right now? Am I resisting the notion of change because I see a real future on the current path or because I am scared of taking a leap of faith, of trying out some new direction without seeing the next step already?
Published on June 13, 2023