One of the best parts of getting feedback from friends, family and colleagues on how you are doing is to hear them talk about your patterns of behaviour - ticks or behaviours you exhibit which you often do not notice yourself. Some years ago, my father highlighted that I often deal in superlatives. My descriptions of an item or event would usually include „best“ or „worst“ (and not uncommonly the adjective „ever“). I realised, thanks to his intervention, that in doing so, I would end up over or undervaluing things, and breaking my own way of coming to a conclusion regarding my feeling about a topic. If it was the worst, I would bash it and find it hard to reconsider, if it was the best I could talk endlessly, like an apostle, about its merits and superiority over others in its category. I try to stop myself from these kinds of behaivours, try to take a more measured approach to how I view things, now. Something is no longer quite as horrible, events do not leave quite as bitter of a taste. Doing this has not robbed me of my abilityto like or dislike, it has shown me ways to do so more sustainably.
Published on September 28, 2022